Very entertaining they were too. If ever there was a book suited to its chosen genres then this is it.
Having the prologue set back in the Ripper days gives this an instant touch of believability. It makes the book seem grounded in the possible rather than improbable. The gypsy twist works and sets this up nicely.
You got me with the move to the present day. I wasn't expecting that, but it worked fine. We are straight into vampire killing action and get a taste for how it feels doing it. But I thought chapter two was the standout here. The bath scene gave the reminiscing a touch more poignance and the heat from Robins body is a very unusual idea. The coffee scene and steam in the bath both added to this and gives a lot of scope for expansion.
Like Edward says, there is only minor things to deal with here. There was very little actual faults. My only point would be to watch repetition as this does happen where you repeat the same word within a line or two of each other. This just breaks the flow a touch. Also, every now and again you put a word like 'almost' before a description which would be far stronger if you just went for it without the preceding word. All minor stuff and easily sorted.
Good job. This book has great potential and I am sure will be well liked here.
Richard
The Snow Lily
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