AUTHOR BIO:
Stephen Kozeniewski lives with his wife and two
cats in Pennsylvania, the birthplace of the modern zombie. During his time as a
Field Artillery officer, he served for three years in Oklahoma and one in Iraq,
where due to what he assumes was a clerical error, he was awarded the Bronze
Star. He is also a classically trained linguist, which sounds much more
impressive than saying his bachelor's degree is in German.
This work is on sale for .99 cents this week
through July 27th at the link that will be posted below for purchase.
SYNOPSIS:
After ravenous corpses topple society and consume
most of the world’s population, freighter captain Henk Martigan is shocked to
receive a distress call. Eighty survivors beg him to whisk them away to the
relative safety of the South Pacific. Martigan wants to help, but to rescue
anyone he must first pass through the nightmare backwater of the Curien island
chain.
A power struggle is brewing in the Curiens. On one
side, a billionaire seeks to squeeze all the profit he can out of the
apocalypse. Opposing him is the charismatic leader of a cargo cult. When a
lunatic warlord berths an aircraft carrier off the coast and stakes his own
claim on the islands, the stage is set for a bloody showdown.
To save the remnants of humanity (and himself),
Captain Martigan must defeat all three of his ruthless new foes and brave the
gruesome horrors of...THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO.
CHARACTER INTERVIEW:
Our next interview subject needs no
introduction. Time’s Man of the Year, number one on the Forbes 400 two
years running, CEO and chief programmer of Sex Drive Multinational, the one,
the only: Rand Bergeron!
Mr. Bergeron is most famous, of course, for his invention of the ubiquitous Sex Drive collar, the world’s first and only virtual reality device with a direct neural interface. This past week SDM finally eclipsed the Umbrella Corporation as the world’s largest corporate entity and in honor of that achievement, Mr. Bergeron has graciously granted Inside the Mind of Kindra Sowder a few minutes of his precious time for this interview.
1. Do you play any sports?
Oh. “Yeah.” I play “tons” of sports. Jai alai is my favorite, but bowling is a close second. I’ve just got nothing but time on my hands to play a bunch of stupid…next question.
2. What do you do to unwind and relax?
Well, I do the same thing everyone does. After a long day at work I like to kick back and relax with my Sex Drive collar and one of my favorite programs. Every day Sex Drive Multinational is signing the likenesses, both classic and modern, of some of the most popular models, athletes, and reality show stars in the world…all for your pleasure. Dirrrty-era Xtina? You got it. Modern Jennie Garth? Absolutely. ‘90s Jennie Garth? We’re working on it. But perhaps the best part about being the owner is, I get to test all of our virtual likenesses before they go live to the general public.
3. Who should play you in a film?
George Clooney. Well, like a young George Clooney. Wait, who’s a young George Clooney? How about Channing Tatum? Yeah. I think he could pull it off. Maybe if he had better acting chops.
4. What would we find under your bed?
Probably one of the girls I kicked out of bed last night for eating crackers if you know what I mean! Nudge nudge wink wink. I really can’t keep track of them all, you know. Sigh…
5. What is the next big thing?
Oooh, there are some very exciting changes coming down the pike for your Sex Drive collars, ladies and gentlemen. I do not want to give anything away, but if you tune into the E3 expo this year, I will be doing a live, hands-on demonstration that will blow…you…away. Do not miss it! Sex Drive 2.0! You won’t even believe all the new functionalities already built into your existing devices that we’ll be releasing for the first time. You thought you were a slave to your Sex Drive before? Wait until what I’ve got in store for you drops!
6. What one word best describes you?
Rand…
Or, no, wait!
Bergeron…
No, wait, just…Rand.
7. You just won a huge lottery what is the first thing you'll buy?
The lottery is just a tax on people too stupid to do what I do. Sure, keep playing the lottery, you pack of mendicants. What would I do with another hundred million? Buy a gold-plated shark tank? Who would want that anyway? You wouldn’t even be able to see inside! That’s a terrible idea. Go away. Next question.
8. Is there a piece of advice that you have received that has really stuck with you? If so, what was it?
My first boss after I dropped out of MIT, Mark, used to tell me, “No one is your friend in business…just your chum.” He really gave me my first break and I was always grateful to him for it. In fact, I was so grateful that when I made my bones in business and finally leveraged a hostile takeover of his company, I let him keep his pension.
Mr. Bergeron is most famous, of course, for his invention of the ubiquitous Sex Drive collar, the world’s first and only virtual reality device with a direct neural interface. This past week SDM finally eclipsed the Umbrella Corporation as the world’s largest corporate entity and in honor of that achievement, Mr. Bergeron has graciously granted Inside the Mind of Kindra Sowder a few minutes of his precious time for this interview.
1. Do you play any sports?
Oh. “Yeah.” I play “tons” of sports. Jai alai is my favorite, but bowling is a close second. I’ve just got nothing but time on my hands to play a bunch of stupid…next question.
2. What do you do to unwind and relax?
Well, I do the same thing everyone does. After a long day at work I like to kick back and relax with my Sex Drive collar and one of my favorite programs. Every day Sex Drive Multinational is signing the likenesses, both classic and modern, of some of the most popular models, athletes, and reality show stars in the world…all for your pleasure. Dirrrty-era Xtina? You got it. Modern Jennie Garth? Absolutely. ‘90s Jennie Garth? We’re working on it. But perhaps the best part about being the owner is, I get to test all of our virtual likenesses before they go live to the general public.
3. Who should play you in a film?
George Clooney. Well, like a young George Clooney. Wait, who’s a young George Clooney? How about Channing Tatum? Yeah. I think he could pull it off. Maybe if he had better acting chops.
4. What would we find under your bed?
Probably one of the girls I kicked out of bed last night for eating crackers if you know what I mean! Nudge nudge wink wink. I really can’t keep track of them all, you know. Sigh…
5. What is the next big thing?
Oooh, there are some very exciting changes coming down the pike for your Sex Drive collars, ladies and gentlemen. I do not want to give anything away, but if you tune into the E3 expo this year, I will be doing a live, hands-on demonstration that will blow…you…away. Do not miss it! Sex Drive 2.0! You won’t even believe all the new functionalities already built into your existing devices that we’ll be releasing for the first time. You thought you were a slave to your Sex Drive before? Wait until what I’ve got in store for you drops!
6. What one word best describes you?
Rand…
Or, no, wait!
Bergeron…
No, wait, just…Rand.
7. You just won a huge lottery what is the first thing you'll buy?
The lottery is just a tax on people too stupid to do what I do. Sure, keep playing the lottery, you pack of mendicants. What would I do with another hundred million? Buy a gold-plated shark tank? Who would want that anyway? You wouldn’t even be able to see inside! That’s a terrible idea. Go away. Next question.
8. Is there a piece of advice that you have received that has really stuck with you? If so, what was it?
My first boss after I dropped out of MIT, Mark, used to tell me, “No one is your friend in business…just your chum.” He really gave me my first break and I was always grateful to him for it. In fact, I was so grateful that when I made my bones in business and finally leveraged a hostile takeover of his company, I let him keep his pension.
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PURCHASE LINK:
Thanks for featuring me, Kindra! Rand's office seems to be refusing to return my phone calls now so, uh...I'll just say thank you on his behalf, too!
ReplyDeleteNo problem, Stephen. I really enjoyed doing this!
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